I can hardly believe it’s Christmas week!!! This is usually that time of year when we are already starting to think of resolutions, of starting fresh, of new beginnings, and while all that is wonderful, it often times comes with a sense of guilt for resolutions broken, a sense of dissatisfaction with ourselves, and a weariness of doing it all again.
I want to tell you about a wonderful concept I learned this concept from Dr Becky Kennedy, where two things are true. Two things can be true at the same time. Sometimes these two things seem to opposite, but that does not change the fact that both things are true. For example, “Our family is not getting a pet right now and I understand how disappointing that is to you”.
I’m not sure if this is cultural, if it’s a generational thing, what it is… but I look around and we are consistently less tolerant of the tension of having two things be true. We want everything in perfect little boxes, we want things to be tidy, we are hyper easily offended and we think that if two people don’t agree they must hate each other. Anyway… that’s just not realistic. Life is filled with “two things are true” tension and if we resolve every one, we don’t really resolve anything.
Sometimes we need to live with the tension. Sometimes we need to resolve the tension. Sometimes the tension is impossible to resolve, so living with it is the best thing. Sometimes the tension must be resolved for us to move forward, and that is the best thing. The truth is that you’ll have to do the work. You’ll have to look at your health truths and figure out where you will live with the tension and where you will resolve it.
So, how does this apply in our health?
In our health, more often than we might care to admit, two things are true. I’ll give you some examples, and these may or may not apply to you specifically, but they will show you what I mean. Look for the two things are true in your health… Sometimes you may want to resolve certain tensions, meaning that sometimes we need a kick in the butt and we need to make some changes. Sometimes you will find that you will not resolve the tension, that you will live with that and that is perfectly good.
Here are some examples, but again, look for where two things are true for you, in your own life.
– I love my body and I want to change some things [body composition change].
– I should eat better and I love fast food.
– I want more defined muscles and I don’t like to exercise.
– I love my body and I am unhealthy.
– I really enjoy eating ______, and I feel a bit sick every time I eat it.
– I am very busy and I make time to take care of myself.
– I enjoy elaborate meals and I don’t enjoy cooking.
The list can go on and on and on. What needs to be resolved and what doesn’t? That’s for you to say in YOUR health. What is easy to resolve and what is difficult? That depends on your habits and your lifestyle. What is important to be resolved and what is important to stay as a tension? That depends on your goals and your life.
As with anything in your health, this boils down to personal responsibility. You need to stop delegating the quality of your life and take responsibility for it. Doctors, coaches, friends, family, social media, trainers, athletic companies, supplement companies, food companies… none of these are responsible for your health. Some of these will give you advice and information and hold your hand as you invest in your health. Some of these will smile at you while pushing you off a ledge that will derail your health.
It’s up to you to stop giving everyone else the power and take control. What tensions do you have in your health? What tensions should you try to resolve? What tensions are important to live with?
As you head into “resolution season”, start here. Start with grace, and with understanding that there may always be a tension in an area of your life, and that is ok. Growth does not mean lack of tension. Health does not meal lack of tension. Improvement does not mean lack of tension. Maturity comes from seeing the tension, sitting in that pocket, and deciding if something needs to be done. And then, of course, putting in the work either way.
Merry Christmas week!
Keeping it simple,